CAYMAN ISLANDS (The Borowitz Report) - In an uncharacteristically emotional scene for the presumptive GOP nominee, Mitt Romney today paid a surprise visit to his money in the Cayman Islands.
Speaking in a bank vault surrounded by stacks of cash, Mr. Romney praised his money for "the brave work you have done in the never-ending fight for freedom from Federal income tax."
"Thanks to your hard work, losers around the world are envious of me," he added. "For that I salute you."
Stressing that his money's mission in the Caymans was "far from over," he refused to set any timetable for withdrawal.
In a reference to his bid for the Presidency, Mr. Romney told his money, "It would be an honor and a privilege to have my face on you someday."
After plunging into the stacks of cash to touch many of the dollar bills individually, Mr. Romney boarded his private jet to pay a surprise visit to Switzerland.
Received in an e-mail from the Borowitz Report.
Ta much, dear Edosan!
Xtine66 
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Ta much, dear Edosan!
A Scandal in Belgravia - Series 2 Episode 1
[In Buckingham Palace, Sherlock is wrapped in a sheet, apparently otherwise naked]
John Watson: Are you wearing any pants?
Sherlock Holmes: ...No.
John Watson: Okay.
[Sherlock and John in Buckingham Palace]
John Watson: What are we doing here, Sherlock? Seriously, what?
Sherlock Holmes: I don't know.
John Watson: Here to see the Queen?
[Mycroft Holmes walks in]
Sherlock Holmes: Oh, apparently yes.
[They fall about laughing whilst Mycroft disapprovingly stares]
Mycroft Holmes: Just once, can you two behave like grown-ups?
John Watson: We solve crimes. I blog about it, and he forgets his pants. I wouldn't hold out too much hope.
[Mycroft hands Sherlock, who is still undressed, some clothes]
Mycroft Holmes: We are in Buckingham Palace, the very heart of the British nation. Sherlock Holmes, put your trousers on!
Sherlock Holmes: What for?
[Mycroft pours tea]
Mycroft Holmes: I'll be mother.
Sherlock Holmes: And there is a whole childhood in a nutshell.
[Sherlock is learning about Irene Adler]
Sherlock Holmes: Who is she?
Mycroft Holmes: Irene Adler. Professionally known as ‘The Woman’.
Sherlock Holmes: "Professionally"?
Mycroft Holmes: There are many names for what she does. She prefers 'Dominatrix'.
Sherlock Holmes: Dominatrix?
Mycroft Holmes: Don't be alarmed. It's to do with sex.
Sherlock Holmes: Sex doesn't alarm me.
Mycroft Holmes: [smirking] How would you know? [Sherlock just looks at him] She provides, shall we say, recreational scolding to those who enjoy that sort of thing and are prepared to pay for it.
[In Buckingham Palace, Sherlock is wrapped in a sheet, apparently otherwise naked]
John Watson: Are you wearing any pants?
Sherlock Holmes: ...No.
John Watson: Okay.
[Sherlock and John in Buckingham Palace]
John Watson: What are we doing here, Sherlock? Seriously, what?
Sherlock Holmes: I don't know.
John Watson: Here to see the Queen?
[Mycroft Holmes walks in]
Sherlock Holmes: Oh, apparently yes.
[They fall about laughing whilst Mycroft disapprovingly stares]
Mycroft Holmes: Just once, can you two behave like grown-ups?
John Watson: We solve crimes. I blog about it, and he forgets his pants. I wouldn't hold out too much hope.
[Mycroft hands Sherlock, who is still undressed, some clothes]
Mycroft Holmes: We are in Buckingham Palace, the very heart of the British nation. Sherlock Holmes, put your trousers on!
Sherlock Holmes: What for?
[Mycroft pours tea]
Mycroft Holmes: I'll be mother.
Sherlock Holmes: And there is a whole childhood in a nutshell.
[Sherlock is learning about Irene Adler]
Sherlock Holmes: Who is she?
Mycroft Holmes: Irene Adler. Professionally known as ‘The Woman’.
Sherlock Holmes: "Professionally"?
Mycroft Holmes: There are many names for what she does. She prefers 'Dominatrix'.
Sherlock Holmes: Dominatrix?
Mycroft Holmes: Don't be alarmed. It's to do with sex.
Sherlock Holmes: Sex doesn't alarm me.
Mycroft Holmes: [smirking] How would you know? [Sherlock just looks at him] She provides, shall we say, recreational scolding to those who enjoy that sort of thing and are prepared to pay for it.
Scarlet Servants
Felt
Ignite The Seven Cannons
1985
And if I wanted what was yours
then I would surely want what's mine
and you take it all the time
And then somethin' blows up
and my mind's full of ideas
like a cloak of evil
or the message unclear
Like the courtroom jester
when the king says,
The waiters
they wait in their rooms
The chauffeurs
ooo dancin' doom
The waiters
they wait in their rooms
The prophets
ooo forecast gloom
And the stars are out tonight
No one knows - don't let them know!
And the sky is filled with light
and then the night exploded
Yeah somethin's happenin' here
Like a sky of thunder
or the message unclear
Like a blown-out candle
when the daylight draws near
The waiters
they wait in their rooms
The chauffeurs
ooo dancin' doom
The waiters
they wait in their rooms
The prophets
ooo forecast gloom
And if I wanted what was yours
then I would surely want what's mine
And if I wanted what was yours
then I would surely want what's mine
and you take it all the time
and you take it all the time
and you take it all the time
and you take it all the time
Felt
Ignite The Seven Cannons
1985
And if I wanted what was yours
then I would surely want what's mine
and you take it all the time
And then somethin' blows up
and my mind's full of ideas
like a cloak of evil
or the message unclear
Like the courtroom jester
when the king says,
The waiters
they wait in their rooms
The chauffeurs
ooo dancin' doom
The waiters
they wait in their rooms
The prophets
ooo forecast gloom
And the stars are out tonight
No one knows - don't let them know!
And the sky is filled with light
and then the night exploded
Yeah somethin's happenin' here
Like a sky of thunder
or the message unclear
Like a blown-out candle
when the daylight draws near
The waiters
they wait in their rooms
The chauffeurs
ooo dancin' doom
The waiters
they wait in their rooms
The prophets
ooo forecast gloom
And if I wanted what was yours
then I would surely want what's mine
And if I wanted what was yours
then I would surely want what's mine
and you take it all the time
and you take it all the time
and you take it all the time
and you take it all the time
Xtine66 is a crematorium that helps around the home and sends and receives faxes.
Now that is simply well beyond disturbing.
Now that is simply well beyond disturbing.
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